I am a woman AND from the Midwest so I am a people pleaser to my core. I hate letting people down but...sometimes saying no to others is saying yes to ourselves!
Two years ago I was absolutely miserable. I was saying yes to everyone and everything. I was overworked, exhausted, and spread too thin. It left me bitter and angry. It felt like the favors for others would never end. I was drowning. Even though I was mad at everyone else for asking for my help, the reality was, I was the one allowing it by not standing up for myself and my time.
I knew I needed to make a change if I wanted my life to change. And thus...
✨NO-vember was formed. ✨
No-vember is an opportunity to give myself permission to say "no" to others without feeling bad about it, for the whole month of November. The experience was empowering to say the least. Initially, I felt myself feeling the need to explain why I was saying no but the more I practiced, the better I got at letting my no be enough. It's okay to say no. You have good reason to say no and you don't need to explain it, rather, you need to own it!
4 Important Reasons to Say "NO"
These days I look forward to the month of November because it is a reminder to stand up for myself. It's easy to fall back into old habits but by intentionally naming the month NO-vember I allow myself to intentionally say no to things that don't serve me or my goals.
I encourage you to adopt and implement the idea of NO-vember. Saying no leaves space for the things that you want to come into your life. I wish you the best of luck and I can't wait to hear how it goes for you!
I have spent the majority of my life being “stuck.” For me, years 20-30 were filled with multiple google searches of “how to find my purpose” and “how to find motivation.” I always knew that I was capable of more but I didn’t have the tools to take actions to move forward. Like anything else, there are strategies you can use to free yourself of your personal stranglehold or as I like to say, go unst*ck yourself! Get it?! Okay first things first, taking yourself too seriously can lead to feeling stuck. Life is meant to be fun. Yes, we all have goals and ambitions but if you solely focus on goals without having fun you will find yourself unfulfilled and it is my belief that unfulfillment and feeling stuck go hand in hand. Through my 10 years of hands on research, I have come to realize that feeling stuck often comes from one of four things: limiting beliefs, lack of clarity, overwhelm, and not being in alignment.
The first key toward moving forward in life all starts with believing in yourself. A limiting belief is any story that you tell yourself to hold yourself back in life. They include any form of insecurities, fear, or self doubt. We all have them and as we grow our businesses and grow as people they will continue to be there because growing takes stepping out of your comfort zone. Every belief, both good and bad, comes from our thoughts on repeat. The more we think a thought the more power we give it until it eventually turns into a belief. Common self beliefs include, “I’m not good enough,” or “I don’t know what I’m doing.” These beliefs are not the truth, they are just the stories that you have told yourself over and over again. The good news is, you can change your beliefs by changing your thoughts. For more information on how to change your thoughts, download this free PDF guide.
LACK OF CLARITY:
What do you want? Do you clearly and specifically know what you want for yourself and your business? Do you have a vision of what the next month and year look like? If you can’t answer those questions without much thought then you probably don’t know - which could be leading you to feel stuck. If you aren’t aiming toward anything then you aren’t growing and like I said before, if you aren’t growing you aren’t fulfilled and unfulfillment means stuck. Start simple. What do you want? Is it more free time? Is it more sales? Say to yourself “I want more ___________.” That’s it. That’s the thing.
So now you know what you want but how exactly do you achieve it? Sometimes our goals are so big that the idea of achieving them is too overwhelming and overwhelm can easily lead to inaction. It’s time to slow down to speed up. Instead of focusing on how you’re going to get from A to Z, pull back and focus on how you will get from A to B. Start by making a list of all the things you could do to achieve your goal and then focus on 1 item you can do today. If you finish that 1 item you can move on to the next step, or if you find that 1 item to be ineffective then you now have an entire list of actions you can take, so pivot and try something else.
Let’s say for instance you want to start a podcast. There are several steps that you need to take from having the idea to launching your podcast. Make a list of all the things you need to do to launch. Some ideas may be “buy a microphone,” “record an episode,” “think of a name,” “research how to make a podcast.” Notice how these aren’t in any particular order. When you make your list, just write! Write down every single thing you think of without filter or judgement. Ideally you’ll have 20+ things on your list. Let’s look at the 4 things I just listed. Which one comes first? Well, if you don’t know anything about making a podcast, which you probably don’t if you have never made one, the obvious first step is to research how to make a podcast followed by buy a microphone. Start small and overtime you will build clarity, confidence, and momentum.
When I first started my podcast, Show Up to Go Up, I had no idea what exactly I wanted to talk about. All I knew was that I always wanted to create a podcast. I didn’t let my lack of clarity be an excuse. I started with the basics, kept moving forward, and I eventually turned it into what it is today - a podcast full of inspiration, tools, and tips for those who feel stuck in life.
NOT IN ALIGNMENT:
Hopefully I don’t lose you with the word alignment. That used to be a trigger word for me to stop paying attention. Fight that temptation! What I mean by alignment is - do your actions match what you say you want? Sometimes we say that we want something and yet we are pushing that very thing away OR you don’t actually want the thing you say you want. Let’s explore both.
Are you pushing away the thing you say you want? Let’s say you want more free time. Do your actions match that? We all know that actions speak louder than words. Are you allowing yourself to have more time? I used to say that I wanted more free time but I would say yes to everyone and everything and give away any free time I had. My actions of saying yes to everyone were not in alignment with what I said I wanted. Take some inventory here. Maybe there is a subtle change you have to make before you can achieve the thing you want. For me, it was saying no to others.
Do you actually want the thing you say you want? Maybe you say you want to open multiple locations of your store front business. And maybe at one point you really did want that. But in the past couple years you have shifted a bit and now spending more quality time with your family is important. The thing you say you want, more business locations, is no longer what you actually want and therefore you aren’t in alignment. You’re not fully focused on either thing because the two are conflicting and therefore you are stuck. You may have to do some self reflection to make sure the things you say you want are still the things you actually want. Goals change and that’s okay. Self reflection will lead to insight which will also lead to your actions supporting your desires.
Being stuck is one of the worst feelings in the world. It can feel like you are helpless. But remember, you are the driver of your life. The first step to get unstuck is to pay attention. If you don’t realize you’re stuck then how can you change? With these 4 tools you will be on your way to unst*cking yourself and living a life of fulfillment.
The other day I heard someone say that your notes are basically uncashed checks because there is so much value in them. I LOVE taking notes. I've even had people comment on how extensive my note taking is. I don't want to miss a single word! I try to absorb it al! Butttt a lot of times I'll take notes only to never look at them again. And so I end up absorbing maybe 1% or less. Well guess what?! Now is the perfect time to look back at all those gems! So that's exactly what I did.
On 1/3/2020 I must have been feeling inspired from the new year because I wrote "Enjoy the process. Don't worry about where you're going. With joy, discipline, hard work, and consistency you will succeed. 90% of life is the process so don't waste it." PREACH!! Thank you past self for the wisdom and reminder! Let's break it down...
"Enjoy the process. Don't worry about where you're going." Dude I can't tell you how many times I've heard this. But I have basically always hated the process. It's the hard part. It's the work part. The fun part is the results - everyone knows that! It's like when I used to play softball or dance. You practice and train for weeks but the games or performances are where the glory is! But you can't have the glory without the hard work. And if the hard work feels daunting then it's going to be harder to stay consistent and find success. Not to mention that you'll be miserable. And if that's the case then what's the point?! Life is not meant to be miserable. Especially not when it comes to things in your control. So if you are finding yourself in misery during the process then maybe just maybe you're not quite on the right path. Or maybe you just need to shift your perspective and focus on gratitude and all the growth that comes with the process. No matter what you do in life, the process will always be more important than the result. No matter what you pursue it's going to be hard so make sure you love it so it's at least fun and you're staying inspired. Obviously there will be ups and downs during the process but you have to love it enough to keep moving forward despite the downs. If you focus on the process rather than the result you will eventually get to the result OR a better result than you had planned.
"With joy, discipline, hard work, and consistency you will succeed." The two most important words, in my opinion, are JOY and CONSISTENCY. Like I mentioned before, if you're not happy doing what you're doing then maybe you need to reevaluate. I spent years putting my main focus into the wrong thing and I never fully fulfilled. I evaluated and I shifted my main focus to personal development and helping other people and now I feel great and inspired! I feel like I'm finally stepping into my calling. It took me 30 years but I'm here! I still focus on that first thing but it's not my main focus anymore. So maybe you need to reevaluate your main focus. And then there's consistency. Consistency is so important. You can do all the right things for a month but if you stop after a month it's not going to get you where you want to go. It might be a slow process but overtime you will start to realize the huge impact of being consistent. And if you're joyful about what you're doing then you're much more likely to be consistent. Know where you want to go, find joy, and take small steps every single day toward that vision.
"90% of life is the process so don't waste it." The results are just 10% of your life. If you are only focused on the results you are missing the majority of your life and there is so much good that happens in the 90%. Say you live to be 100 years old but you only enjoy 10 years of your life. Can you imagine? You would never actively choose to only enjoy 10 years out of 100 so why are you so focused on the result. Don't diminish the importance of the process. That's where the transformation comes. That's where real life happens. Enjoy this time right now. We are in the 90% right now. If you can't enjoy this time what makes you think you're going to be able to enjoy the result when you get there? There is no guarantee that the results will even make you happy! You may get to your goal and realize that it's not what you want after all. So find happiness in the now. In this moment. In the 90%.
Life is all about the process. Life is all about the journey. Don't miss that. What can you do right now, today, regardless of all the things working against you to lean into the process. To enjoy the process. To shift your focus on this moment and being the best, happiest version of yourself right now.
Have you ever been so jealous of a friend or co worker for receiving a job or accolade you wanted? Yeah, me either. Not. at. All. Just kidding. I have. Time and time again. Great things would happen to my friends but they were great things that I wanted and while I was outwardly so excited for my friends, on the inside I was so bummed. I wanted those things for me and I wanted them for me first. I hate saying any of this because it’s not being a very good friend but it was my truth. I used to struggle with a scarcity mindset.
Somewhere along the way I developed the mindset that there are only an infinite amount of success and opportunities out there and so that meant if someone else got a win there were less wins for me. But that’s not true! It not only keeps you in a negative headspace but it doesn’t encourage you to reach and stretch for your goals. I have seen so many people create a position at their company that never existed before because they were so clear on what they wanted. We can create anything! But it wont happen if you believe there is only so much to go around. There is enough for everyone.
I know it can be easy to be jealous of others but their journey is not yours. Everything is working out for you the way it’s supposed to. I know you’ve gone through hard things and maybe you’re currently going through hard things but you are going to be stronger for overcoming that pain. You have to go through the fire to be molded into something new. If you are currently going through something hard check out this song. It’s so, so good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUPgzd3nwMo
You have to deal with whatever you’re going through. It’s okay to fall apart. God has a better journey for you than you know!
Having a scarcity mindset ultimately comes down to a lack of faith. And when there’s a lack of faith, fear is always present. On the other hand, having an abundance mindset means that you believe there is enough to go around for everyone. A person with an abundance mindset focuses on the belief that there are endless possibilities in life. They look for the positive or at least the lesson or meaning behind any setback or negative experience. They are optimistic and focus on the future therefore creating and attracting positive experiences and opportunities.
If you can relate to any of what I’m saying I want to give you some tools that have helped me make the shift from a living with a fearful or scarcity mindset to a mindset of abundance.
I don’t know what it is but I used to loveeee focusing on the negative and on things that don’t matter. Even though I’m pretty optimistic now I don’t think that was my natural state. I used to loveeee to complain. About so. Many. things. I also used to view myself as what I like to call the "world police." What I mean by that is that I knew what was right and just in the world and it was my job and personal responsibility to dwell on the things others were doing wrong. I wouldn’t tell them what they were doing wrong, of course, because after all sometimes they were total strangers but my job as world police was to know what they were doing wrong (based on what I deemed to be right) and then spend the next 30 minutes to an hour thinking about how my way would have been better. And by thinking about it I was making the world a better place...in my mind. I took this imaginary job very seriously and hopefully you can see just how ridiculous and time wasting this was.
Thankfully I realized two things that have totally transformed my life and made me happier and more productive so I want to share them with you. The first thing is kind of a hard realization and it may be something that you don’t want to hear. Especially right now... But I’m going to have the courage to say the uncomfortable thing because I think it’s important.
The first thing I learned is that your life is a reflection of you and your choices. If you are complaining about your life then that’s a pretty good indicator that you may be doing something wrong. But the good news is you contain the power to change that thing. So if you find yourself complaining about money and focusing on how life isn’t fair and how you don’t have enough money for the things you desire, what if you focused on what you could do differently to make more money. Can you learn a new skill? Can you help more people? These are all things that are in your control. If you find yourself complaining about a coworker or roommate a lot, spend some time thinking about why these things bother you so much. Maybe you’re mentally exhausted and so you’re just more agitated in general - I’ve been there. Meditation and rest are both great options for mental exhaustion. Maybe you’re jealous of that person in some way because they seemingly have things easier or whatever reason in which case, thinking about what you’re grateful for is a great solution. Maybe it’s just a conversation that you need to have with them about how what they are doing is bothering you. Again, all of these things are in your control. They take honest conversations with yourself and you definitely have to let go of your ego to understand the problem may not be everyone else but it may be you. They also take action. Your mindset is not just automatically going to shift from a negative one to a positive one. It’s an everyday, ongoing thing but by having the awareness of it you’ll be able to check yourself before you go down that dark path of negativity and blame.
The second thing I’ve learned is that we only have so much mental energy to use every single day. Think of it like a gas tank. You only have so much gas in your tank and it doesn’t matter which direction you go, either way you’re burning gas. So if you are using it focusing on negative things or how you’re not where you want to be, you are wasting that energy and preventing yourself from getting closer to your goals. Your focus and your energy are so precious. They will get you where you want to go but you get what you focus on so what are you focusing on?
Are you focusing on where you want to go and what you can do to be a better version of yourself or are you focusing on how you are a victim to your circumstance and how others are upsetting you? You are a powerful person. Don’t give up that power by focusing on the wrong things. Take inventory. Are there changes that you can make to live a happier and more focused life? Only you have the answers within you so don’t take that for granted. You got this!
If you enjoyed this post and would like more inspiration and information on how to live your best life, check out my podcast Show Up to Go Up available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Tunein.
I hate the word failure! It’s not something I grew up viewing as a good thing. For me, failing meant you were terrible and awful and not good enough. How wrong was I?! Little did I know, the only way to success was through failure. You learn valuable lessons that make you better through the failures and obstacles.
In regards to the creation of the light bulb, Thomas Edison said “I didn't fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.” Each failure is a step on your path. What if you had the courage to fail at something 1000 times? Imagine how good you’d be! Let your faith be stronger than your fear of failure. You can achieve all things through God who gives you strength!
Here’s a curveball - maybe the problem isn’t fear of failure. Maybe you don’t want to take risks because you’re not on the right path. You’re not in alignment with who God created you to be. When you’re on the right path it will feel good and exciting. You’ll be excited to do the hard work and fail because it means you get to learn and get better. Have the courage to pivot if you need to.
Failure is a part of the process when you’re in the game. It means you are in action. Michael Jordan is a big time failure. He missed over 9000 shots and lost over 300 games. Yet he’s considered one of the greatest of all time. Noticing a pattern here? You gotta fail big to succeed big.
Change the way you think about failure…
They say fear has two meanings: Forget Everything and Run OR Face Everything and Rise...When you think about your fears do you lean toward one way or the other when dealing with them?
Before I go to deep I want to paint a picture for you of a time I was so scared I literally forgot everything and ran. I was back home in Iowa (where I'm originally from) and I was staying with my friend, Cassidy. She had just moved into a new apartment so I was unfamiliar with the apartment or the area. She worked during the day so she gave me a key to her apartment so I could come and go as I needed.
One night I got home pretty late (all I remember is it was dark outside during summer so 9-10ish). I saw Cassidy's car in the parking lot so I knew she was home. I cheerfully walked into the building and then without using the key (this is Iowa, people are wayyy too trusting so no need for keys) walked into her apartment and saw a guy shoving my friend out of the way. I know what you're thinking - maybe it's her boyfriend. She didn't have a boyfriend and was very anti men at the time so I knew that wasn't the case. I was instantly filled with fear. I dropped the door handle and took off running down the hall as fast as I could, all while screaming as loud as I could. None of this was planned. This was just how my survival instinct showed up.
My plan was to get to the stairwell and then call 911 because I knew if I went in to save Cass myself we would both end up hurt. So I get to the stairwell and I'm about to call 911 and real quick I decide to call her just in case, as a formality if you will. It rings a couple times but I know full well she's not going to answer because hello! she's currently being murdered. And then...she answers. WHAAATTT?!! And way too calmly I might add. So calmly that I was thinking whoever that guy was must have a gun to her head and he's telling her to act cool because she's not ever having a reaction to how frantic I am. She was as cool as a cucumber while I was as tense as a whore in church. After some back and forth I learned that I was on the wrong floor the entire time! Here I thought I was in danger but my perception of reality wasn’t true. I was afraid because my perception was that my friend lived on the second floor. And yet the truth was she lived on the third floor. I couldn't help but laugh when I though about that poor couple that I scared the crap out of! Sorry about that!
I know this is basically a next level, crazy example but stay with me here... a.) I'm and actress so I've always been a little dramatic and b.) it's not that different from the inner fears we deal with every day. Our fears can feel so real that they seem like they’re true but most of the time they are created by us. I want you to think about your fears. I’m not talking about phobias here I’m talking about deep rooted fears. The fears that keep you up at night. For me it’s the fear of not being talented enough, or good enough in general.
Is there a chance that maybe the fear you’ve been telling yourself isn’t the truth? Maybe, like my story, your perception of your fear is on the second floor but the truth is on the third floor. Do you have a desire for more but you feel stuck behind a fear that feels so great that you don’t know what to do or how to overcome it? Here are 5 tips that helped me overcome and push past my greatest fear of not being good enough. I hope they help you do the same!
1.) Get clear on what your fears are and where they come from. Spend some time reflecting and going inward. Get off social media, get away from people, and spend some time with yourself. For me, my greatest fear came from my dad. He never told me I wasn’t good enough but he wanted me to be the best in everything I did, so unless it was the best, it wasn’t good enough. I carried that with me for years and the first step toward change was the awareness of it.
2.) Face it/them head on. Say it out loud or write it down. Go as deep as you can and be as specific as you can. Why are you afraid of this trying this new thing? What would happen if you did? Sometimes writing it down helps you to realize how illogical that fear is. If you avoid your fear you give it power. If you face it I promise it will shrink. Thinking about it is not enough. You have to take the action and either say it out loud or write it down. Be proactive.
3.) Visualize what could go right. Stop saying "what if" followed by a negative thing and start fantasizing about all the amazing things that could happen if you do the thing you're afraid of. You truly never know what it will be like until you do something.
4.) Equip yourself with necessary tools. If you are afraid to give a speech then watch other speakers or practice so that you are confident instead of fearful. Knowledge and preparation lead to confidence.
5.) Take action with your fear. Understand that some form of fear will always be there. As you grow, new fears will come because growth happens outside of the comfort zone and in the unknown. Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote Big Magic and Eat Pray Love talks about when she starts anything new and scary, such as writing a new book, she thinks about going on a road trip. She tells her fear that her and creativity are going on an adventure and she welcomes fear to join the adventure but she clearly lets her fear know it will not be involved in any of the decision making. Only her and creativity are allowed to do so. Give space to your fear but don’t let it make the decisions. You are not defined by your fears. You are the driver of you life!
You can do this! Don't just read these tips and forget about them. Actually take time to apply them. Doing these things changed my life! This blog and podcast wouldn't be here if I didn't apply them. You have to do the work. It's not always easy but it's so worth it. Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear! Face Everything And Rise!
For a more in depth look at all this check out episode 2 of my podcast, Show Up to Fear. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/show-up-to-go-up/id1502535562
Daaaanggg it is a scary time right now. I don't know how it is where you live but in Atlanta full on panic has set in. I went to the grocery store yesterday (Thursday) at 2pm and it was PACKED! Like the night before Thanksgiving packed. I can feel the panic and fear in the air. News of the Coronavirus is everywhere. Basically unavoidable BUT - that doesn't mean you can't be a light during this dark time.
Things are getting canceled left and right but we have to keep moving forward despite these things happening that are out of our control. When there is so much negativity in the world we have to make the decision to seek out positivity. There are things that you can't control and there are things that you can. It doesn't serve you to focus on the things that you can't control. I know there is a lot to be stressed and disappointed about - I booked a national commercial that fell through - but it's going to be okay. I'm choosing to believe that things will work out according to God greater plan and taking steps to live a more positive, hopeful life rather than one of fear because I don't know what's going to happen next so being fearful will only diminish my quality of life in this moment. Instead, I want to savor this moment. So with that being said, here are my top tips to embrace the positive and live your best life.
1.) Start a practice of gratitude - What you focus on grows. If you are focusing on all the negativity in the world, you will see more negativity (and be more unhappy). There is a lot to be anxious about with everything going on but that doesn't mean you have to focus on it. If I've learned anything in my 30 years it's that we are not in control. None of us know what's going to happen next. The only thing you can control is yourself. Yes you can wash your hands more and avoid crowds but I'm talking about your mindset. You are in control of your thoughts. A thought may pop up out of nowhere but you control if you choose to listen to it or not. Don't give power to the negative thoughts. Focus on the positive. Start a practice of gratitude. Every morning make a list of 3-5 things you are grateful for. It will change your outlook. People need your positivity.
2.) Meditate every day. Even if it's only for 2 minutes, start somewhere! So many people are so resistant to meditating but it has truly helped me be more present and let go of so much overactive thinking and anxiety that was weighing me down and making me depressed. It's allowed me to have more mental energy for other, better things. We only have so much mental energy per day so don't waste it on anxiety. Understand it's going to be a challenge when you first start because it's a new thing and anything that's new starts out hard but embrace the challenge and know as you push through it, you are becoming a better version of yourself! Focus on the benefits of how great you'll feel once you make it a habit. All it takes is a couple minutes a day and it's so worth it! Here is a 5 minute guided meditation I used to use when I first started meditating (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utfw-rJUvy4).
3.) Surround yourself with other positive people. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with so if you are surrounded by negative, anxiety ridden people it's much more likely that you will become the same. Community is so important. We are social beings and crave interaction with others. See if you can enjoy the moment with your friends, which will help you forget about the pain of the world right now. Make a pact to enjoy each others company and not talk about Coronavirus or other negative things. I'm not saying ignore what's going on but you don't have to focus on it all the time. Healthy distractions are necessary.
4.) Go outside and enjoy nature. Turn off your TV, get off your phone, and go outside. Slow down and enjoy/appreciate the beauty of the world. There is something so peaceful about being in nature. The plants are still growing and the animals are still living. Maybe we can learn something from them and their simplicity. There is a whole world beyond Coronavirus.
5.) Move your body. There is a ton of research that shows that regular physical activity releases endorphins and is not only good for your physical health but your mental health as well. If you are feeling especially anxious and can't even think about going outside then put on some music and dance for just one song. But fully commit to that one song. You will feel so much better and it will literally change your thoughts and your mood.
6.) Stay hydrated and eat good, clean food. Don't just take care of your mind but take care of your physical body too. When you eat junk food it'll likely make you feel lethargic and apathetic. Fuel your body with quality food so that a.) you have a healthy immune system and b.) you have energy to keep moving forward despite how challenging it is to look forward right now.
You don't have to be fearful! What is that fear doing for you? Fear manifests in a lot of ways including anxiety, lack of rest and sleep, anger, depression, and physical illness. Notice how they are ALL negative. By being fearful you are making yourself more susceptible to all of these negative things. But you don't have to. You have a choice! You can be proactive and intentional! Yes, the Coronavirus is contagious, but so is panic, fear, hysteria, love, enthusiasm, kindness, and joy. Choose wisely! Your friends, your kids, and the world need your positivity.
Let me tell you a little more about my story and my journey. I am the youngest of 4 kids and only girl. Growing up I was a princess andddd spoiled, for lack of a better word. I used to be a beautiful, sassy, spitfire and at some point over the years I lost that. After being told my personality is too big too many times (by some of those I'm closest with), I dimmed my light. I suppressed my natural nature to make others more at ease. I lost myself. I spent my 20s trying to be nice and accommodating, and boy was I! But where did it get me? I was unsatisfied and lacked passion. I hadn't only lost myself but I was lost in this big ol' world.
Even though I was unsatisfied I was always yearning for more. I was definitely stuck but I knew I was capable of more. I started reading personal development books. Some of the first books I read were The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson and Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. Both of these are classics and totally changed the way I saw the world and began my journey into being a better version of myself. I could feel my mindset starting to shift but was I really ready to change? Could I find success? Am I enough? These are just a few of the limiting beliefs I struggled with. There were MANY! I constantly told myself I'm not smart enough, talented enough, or creative enough. Can you relate? The good news is I was able to change these things and so can you! Before you go after what you want you have to start with your mindset - with these negative beliefs.
Because I wanted more, I stayed consistent with personal development. I focused on the person I wanted to become rather than the person I was at the time. That helped me show up for myself even when I didn't want to. Even when I didn't feel like it. It's kind of like working out. For me, working out not only makes me look better but it makes me FEEL better. When I want to skip a workout because I'm tired or unmotivated, rather than trying to get excited about the actual workout, I focus on how amazing I'm going to feel when I'm done. Focus on the after effect to push you through the challenging thing.
I started a practice of gratitude and meditation every morning which helped me to slow down, center myself, and focus on the positive. My mindset was changing and I was starting to enjoy the person I was becoming. But again, I still struggled with the limiting beliefs I had been telling myself my entire life. I was introduced to Rachel Hollis and, with a month to spare, I decided to go to her RISE personal development conference. One thing to know about me... I do not like to spend money. It can be a good thing and a bad thing but... I am pretty cheap. The tickets were expensive but I knew I needed to go. I knew it in my gut that this was the push I needed.
So I went. I showed up and fully committed to the weekend. Somehow, by the end of the weekend, I realized that I am enough. That I was created intentionally, flaws and all. And most importantly that my voice matters. I have always been an encourager but I was too fearful to create a bigger platform to encourage people. So here I am. That's exactly why I created Show Up to Go Up.
I know that there are so many people and women that struggle with the same doubts and insecurities that I did. Part of my story moving forward is that I help other people overcome the same struggles and doubts that I went through. Although it's an ongoing journey and there are ups and downs, I truly feel like I'm on the other side of fear. I'm doing it. And I know that you can do it too! Trust me, there is nothing that you've thought about yourself that I haven't thought about myself. If I can do it, so can you.
I am here to give you tools and inspiration to help you show up for yourself to live your best life. I can't do the work for you but if you commit to showing up for yourself regularly (regardless of where you are) there is nowhere that you can go but up! Whatever it is you want in life, it's time to go after it! Today is the first day of the rest of your life. I believe in you and I'm so excited for you.
IG @stephygthatsme and @showuptogoup