Before my mom passed away from brain cancer last year, the worst thing that had happened to me was my parents got divorced at 16 and I was bullied. Yes, those are hard things but I knew people who had experienced far worse.
I would compare my situation to their situation and I used to tell myself that I wasn't allowed or justified to be sad because my issues weren't as big as theirs. This led me to not deal with my feelings for years. During those years I remember feeling a constant lingering of pain and unhappiness. I didn't know why I felt that way but I knew I was unhappy. I was so angry on the inside.
It turns out, if you push your feelings away for long enough they eventually come up with a vengeance. That's exactly what happened. Finally, after close to 15 years everything came to a head.
I could no longer suppress my feelings. I was forced to deal with them. Ugh!
I spent 15 years trying to ignore my feelings because I didn't feel like they were worthy but the truth is, no matter what you've gone through, how you feel is worthy and valid.
Every person experiences things differently. Don't feel bad about your feelings. In fact, your feelings are an indicator of your happiness. If you are experiencing negative feelings or emotions that's a sign that something in your life is off and needs to be addressed. If you are a super negative person it's likely because you are unhappy in some area of your life.
4 Steps to check in with your feelings:
1.) On a scale of 1-10 how happy do you feel right now or in general?
2.) If you're feeling less than a 7 ask yourself why you're feeling this way?
3.) Be brutally honest with your response. Sometimes the truth hurts but it always leads to clarity and freedom. Journaling or speaking out loud might be very helpful.
4.) What action can you take today or this week? Maybe you need to create more fun in your life, maybe you need to research new job opportunities or leave a toxic relationship, or maybe you need to see a therapist to deal with past pain.
No matter what you're feeling or why, your feelings matter. Your feelings are like a little internal alarm that is letting you know something in your life is off and needs to be addressed or changed. For the longest time I was so unhappy but I just thought that was life. It doesn't have to be if you pay attention to what your feelings are and then take a small action forward.
IG @stephygthatsme and @showuptogoup